Student Sample Essay-- Start Them Writing Young The following sample personal essay, “Too Muslim for Violence” was written by Mohamed, my 7th grade student at The TEAK Fellowship. I am proud to share it with you here-- he has exploded into his voice over only 8 weeks in my class, and he has a message for us about individuality and peace. If you think you don't need to hear it, you're probably wrong. It's never too young to start them writing about what they see in the world, and who they might be. ** "Too Muslim for Violence" Al Salam Alaikum my brothers and sisters. Let’s start by defining that phrase. The phrase itself means peace be upon you. As Muslims, we greet each other with peace. It seems ironic that many people view us Muslims as terrorists, murderers, kidnappers, or basically any other negative role a human being can play. We greet each other with peace - where could the violence come from? I turn left and right on a cool Monday morning in my school uniform. Ready to learn and ready to see my friends, but definitely not ready for what was to come. As I read the news, my heart skipped a beat. A terrorist attack. Another terrorist attack. I was praying to God that it wasn't somebody with a Muslim name. Please no Ahmed, no Abdel, and absolutely no one else with the name Mohamed. I sunk down into a deep, deep, dark hole. I shut off my phone right away. By no means was this the first terrorist attack that I read about, but usually I was home. Not knowing what to say or what to do I wondered: Is anybody looking at me? Is anybody talking about me? I couldn’t believe what was on my phone - his name was even worse than I anticipated: Ahmed Muhammed. Two Muslim names but only one person. I just wanted to go back home because I worried my friends would be scared of me since a “Muslim” man blew up a church in Egypt. At that moment I felt like every person was saying, “All these Muslim people are so violent.” The media was successful again in spreading hate Continue Reading …
Essays
Free-writing for your best essay ideas
Free-writing toward the Light For years I have relied on free-writing exercises to show my students their own light. Free-writing opens the writer to all the buzzing life they carry inside themselves in the form of memories, wishes, dreams, regrets, insights-- and stories, stories, stories. And for your college essay, you need stories. I start all my Essay Intensive students on their college essay process with free-writing. When students respond to prompts without any self-censorship or self-criticism, in their flow, they can let their minds be as wild, creative, and deep as they naturally are (yay, sweet relief!)! And what they generate is often surprising and, ace of aces, not boring! Any writer is capable of pulling up material from the abyss of the self, and the resources there cannot be exhausted. You inner world is full of riches that you can use for practical ends and to meet your writing goals. Much better than bitcoin, whatever that really is. Here's a piece I recently wrote for TeenLife Mag that tells you exactly how you can use free-writing to rock your college essay-- or any meaningful introspective task. It solves any number of problems. Any of this sound like you?: "Are you stuck on your college essay draft? Or don’t even know where to start? Are you sure that you have nothing of interest to say? Bogged down by wordiness and obfuscations? Or are you trying to write too many essays at once? Free-writing has the cure for what ails you. Here’s why and how to do it, and some prompts to get you started." Read more. Want to share your free-writing with nosy people? Oh, good! Your kindergarten teacher probably said "sharing is caring." And while that rhyme has the gag factor, it's also true. At Essay Intensive, we care a lot about what you find when you look inside yourself unfiltered. We're also nosy in the way a writer is obligated to be, and have a good eye for sentences and ideas that could lead you somewhere profound. For fast feedback Continue Reading …
Process and Your College Essay
It's OK to want the product...just don't lose the LASTING value of your process! You don’t seek essay help generally if you don’t want a great product. That’s a given: the best you can get, with guidance. AND YOU SHOULD HAVE IT. But! You also are coming for the quality of the process. To be you, doing this hard thing, and to get the most out of it. Some students come to me already pumped to open their minds or draw their creativity up from the well, turn down the volume on their application anxiety, and make discoveries. Others have to be convinced that this process is the gold as much as the final essay product itself. I do know that paying attention to process, really caring, is a recipe for better flow and more interesting lines of thought. That is, a better essay. Paradox? Yup. Your College Essay IS a Process! Everyone wants a great college essay (product) out of their writing process--and why wouldn't you? But how many of us really pay attention to-- or care the most about-- our writing process itself? Nah, we hit SEND and let it go. How many months of work did it take to get you....to that? Let's shift perspective a bit and see. Don't be duped into loving your product more than your process As a culture, we are (too) happy to sacrifice process in favor of product. It's no secret, in fact, it's advertised everywhere: we don't value the time we spend doing something (process) nearly as much as what we end up with (product, thing with a price-tag on it). It's that all-American mindset of living for your retirement experience. That's capitalism--crapitalism-- for ya. It's easy to fall in that trap (product infatuation) even if you think you're not in the trap. For example, ever wished the week would hurry up and be over so you could get to the weekend (end goal)? Presto. DUPED. But what if you get hit by a bus first? My cynical side asks. And what about your week, is it just...useless filler between Saturdays? Worthless Continue Reading …
Understanding the Common App Essay Prompts 2018-2019
"I read the Common App Essay Prompts, what do I do now?!" If the suggestion, "Just write an essay you love!" is too vague for you, here's help breaking down the Common App Prompts 2018. Some people prefer to let the essay prompts be jumping off points. That's fine too. Trust your mind. But if you're looking for deeper breakdown of the Common App 2018-2019 prompts, this guidance is for you. It was published in TeenLife Mag back in July but...I was busy having a baby and didn't get to post it. Now that baby's been had! You'll find the advice is relevant and hopefully a nudge towards...just writing that essay you love. Excerpt on responding to the Common App Essay Prompts 2018-2019 "Here’s the deal: When it comes time to write your Common Application college personal essay, it’s not really about the prompt. It's what you do with it, and how deep you go. Each prompt is a doorway into a story you want to tell, something distinctive you want to share. You have to know a few things to pull this off: What the genre of personal essay requires of you generally (general purpose of the essay); what each Common Application prompt is asking for (decoding the question); what possible responses are available to you (your life experiences and what you’ve made of them). You’ll find tips on the first two here and our tips on the writing process. Then, you’ll have to go inward. We can’t tell you what you’ve lived, and if we could, we’d be depriving you of the real work." The full post can be read here, on TeenLife, where you'll find tons of other useful information. Need help with your Common App Essay? We have expert advice for you so when you're asked what you wrote about, you'll say, "Oh, I just wrote an essay I loved!" Contact us for details. Because details are where the good stuff is. Continue Reading …
How to write your best “Why This College?” essay
The "Why This College?" essay may be a supplement, but it's really important! After you finish your main personal statement, having to write the "Why This College?" essay can trigger your impulse to exaggerate, bullshit, or regurgitate-- three common pitfalls. Don't. Instead, aim to do your best writing, thinking and match-making on the "Why This College" essay. Here's how. First, understand the "Why This College?" essay as another golden opportunity to show who you are and why you are a fit for this school. Show some enthusiasm, and build up confidence in your college list. Remember, no question on the application is really a waste of space or time; each should be treated as an opportunity to add to the picture of yourself you are creating for colleges. Each written supplement is a chance to be convincing, make your case, and land a sweet date. Here are three common pitfalls to avoid, and what to do instead for your best "Why This College" essay: "Why This College?" essay Exaggeration: If you eat a meal at my house and then tell me I am the best cook ever, I might grow shy (Who, me?), then a little worried about your judgment (Are you sure you think that?), then move on to disbelief (That's not true!), then dismissal (You don't know anything about good cooking). If you spend time (and precious word count) on superlatives and hyperbole, the admissions team may go through that same thought sequence as well, and it probably won't end in your favor. They KNOW they are not THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT EVERYTHING. But what if you instead say to me, "Wow, I have never had kale with garlic that tastes this good, and I should know, because I am a green vegetable junkie!"? Then I might believe you. You've given me a highly specific and accurate compliment. You've shown me why you are qualified to make this assessment. And you've contextualized it in a bigger picture of your tastes and preferences. We're cool! Can you think of a parallel example for Continue Reading …