Julian Jimenez's winning college essay begins, "Here comes Satanás... Behold his fiery, mischievous, defiant glory." I know: a risk. Just the kind that apparently makes admissions teams sit up and then salute. I had worked closely with Julian on his main college essay and supplements--if they don't take him, they're confused, I'd think. In admissions, though, criteria are complex. Excellent writing stands out, but it doesn't stand alone. Though the tone was often playful, I knew he wasn't playing. So when I saw his long list of impressive acceptances in the email, I was not surprised, but my heart did crack open. You'll remember my name Julian was dubbed "Satanas" as a child; Satan may have a really bad reputation in many circles, but we know what that figure does well is convince others to do things. In this case, his power of language (y'all are going to know my name!) held sway over admissions officers. They remembered his name and they put it on their BRING IT list. Committed to Princeton Julian wrote: "I'm proud to tell you that I have committed to Princeton! I actually got into roughly 90% of my top choices including Dartmouth, Columbia, USC, UCLA, Berkeley, Swarthmore, University of Notre Dame, UCSD and UCSB , and a few others." Now, if you follow my admissions essay work, you know I am not an Ivy Preacher nor swayed by school branding that's not backed up by substance and stellar education. Any school must be a potential a fit for that applicant. (Because, no, the Illustrious Ivies are not a fit for all, nor is their egregious price tag). But in this case, the enormity of the nations top schools saying YES YES YES CHOOSE US speaks volumes about Julian's renovation of his entire life, and his family's life and prospects. His was the kind of family this country claims currently to not want within our borders. Voice to and through the struggle Most of us have no idea what some students struggle through to get even a decent Continue Reading …
voice
Guest Post: How To Be That One Black Girl At An Interview
To write powerful personal essays, make it a habit to use your voice early and often Immersing yourself in reading personal essays is a great way to develop range. The following sample personal essay was written by my former student Awa D. She is a truth-dropping 8th grader at The TEAK Fellowship, where I teach some of NYC's most dazzling public schoolers who are hellbent on shaping their futures through education. After reading Junot Diaz's short story, "How to Date a Brown Girl, (Black Girl, White Girl or Halfie)," the students were prompted to write their own "How To ______" personal essays about something in which they consider themselves an expert or authority. Awa wrote hers about being "that one black girl" at an interview for an NYC private school. She is observant, tough and tender, gentle in person, rigorous in word. Her personal essays have never shied away from the beauty or difficulty of being a person of color. Her family immigrated here from Mali, and she observes us all with special eyes. If you want to know how to help students write awesome personal essays for college admissions, I say: just start them writing personal essays earlier. Teach the hot skills of observation and reflection, and let them practice til their hands, minds and hearts catch fire. If you're looking to help yourself get stronger at writing personal essays, I'd say: pay attention to your life, and write, write, write what you notice, about whatever feels like a little fire under your skin. From Sample Student Personal Essays How To Be That One Black Girl At An Interview--by Awa D. This interview will make you wish you just had fresh box braids done at the local Fatima’s African Salon on 125th and Park Avenue. The itchy scalp, tightly added extensions that you had to take an Advil for, and chatter of 10 African ladies gossiping about the salon across stealing their customers would have all been worth it. But no, you just happen to have cut your hair to a Continue Reading …
What is “authentic” voice?
Your authentic voice? answer with an anecdote! The student in my college essay revising workshop tipped dangerously far back in his chair. Even the chair was nervous. "Can you look at my essay?" He called. No matter that I was in the middle of a sent-- He handed me an essay draft with tight lips. It was all about how he went from careless to caring about his school work over a few challenging years. "I don't like it." He said. "It's boring." He wasn't fishing for praise. He didn't like it. "Well, if you are bored by it, it's probably boring," I agreed. I skimmed it. Yup. Continue Reading …
7 Common College Application Essay Pitfalls
Here are seven common college application essay pitfalls, misconceptions that prevent you from writing a great essay. Change your view to find your voice and bust through writer's block. Continue Reading …