Yes, I promise, you can write your college essay topic about your grandmother, or your torn ACL. I know you heard opposite advice basically everywhere. So let me explain what I mean. I have read (and been moved to tears and laughed my water out my nose because of) college essays about grandmothers torn ACL’s You just can’t write about it in the same way everyone else does. This means: It’s not really “about” your grandmother. It’s not really “about” your torn ACL. So what is your college essay about then? It’s about the way you approach your topic. It’s about what your topic shows us about you. Continue Reading …
advice
Parents, Don’t Lose it Over the Essay
Last year I was a contributor at TeenLife Mag and got to offer some advice on one of my favorite subjects: relationships. In particular, how parents and kids can avoid losing it over the college essay. I'm a parent and step-parent now, and I really get how tricky it can be. We all need reminders that our relationship with our kid is faaaaar more important than anything we might want for them to accomplish. It doesn't always feel that way-- when our kids don't want our input. It doesn't always feel that way-- when our kids act annoyed that we parents seem so focused on a deadline. It doesn't always feel that way-- when we parents worry about the future. It doesn't always feel that way-- when we parents think our kid might be too focused, too stressed, and we want them to take a breather. An Interactive Talk For Parents (Let's Not Lose our Shiz!) If you're local to Brooklyn, you can come to an interactive talk at Bee Tutored-- register here. If you're not local, we can book a phone session. This might be the most important thing I have to offer, and that you have to offer: love, love, love. It looks different in every family system, just like every family looks different. I'll offer tools to help your inner world when the outer world is just a tad nutty. Please come be part of the conversation! We can take back the college essay! Continue Reading …
Paying Attention (to Freewriting)
If you've been paying attention, you know we think free-writing is THE way to start your college essay. But unexpectedly I came across some sage advice on how NOT to begin your essay, which I'll pass onto you. (Don't fret-- it leads right back to free-writing.) Being Bored, Lazy, Trivial and Proud: that's how not to write your college essay. Paying attention? Got that? Need a sharper voice to tell you so? Sit up and listen to these words from poet Frank O'Hara. Or better: read them out loud. Don’t be bored, don’t be lazy, don’t be trivial, and don’t be proud. The slightest loss of attention leads to death. — Frank O’Hara, 1964 Did he say death? He said death! To avoid such certain death, here are some free-writing exercises to set your observer free. Your medicine is...Your attention! And what simple steps must you take? Pay it! (Don't worry: your doctor would approve.) (And the admissions committee would definitely approve, because they are SO bored of being bored!) Your inner observer can do the work There is nothing better you can do for your college essay success (or your writing voice, period) than to liberate your honest inner observer. Who's that? Glad you asked. It's the little voice inside you that knows--or could know-- what you're really like. Where you shine, where you falter, where you are (join the club, membership free) unmistakably human. Let's look at this quote again, then complete all or some of the prompts below. Don’t be bored, don’t be lazy, don’t be trivial, and don’t be proud. The slightest loss of attention leads to death. — Frank O’Hara, 1964 Free-Writing Prompts: Reflect on something from your life that makes you: 1) bored, 2) lazy, 3) trivial and 4) proud. (One example for each, please, and using as much detail as possible) Reflect on something that makes you sit up and pay attention. Voluntarily (say, Simone Biles) or involuntarily (say, gunshots). Speculate: how could you cross the Continue Reading …
To read sample college essays, or not to read?
Models of college essay successes? When you're writing your college essay, you're often advised to read the sample college essays of previous applicants-- the ones that got the students admitted, the ones that didn't. From the successful ones, you get some ideas of what to do. From the flops, you learn what not to do. Sounds easy enough. After all, you want to get into your top college choice, and these writers did-- or didn't. But the reality is a little trickier and more nuanced-- and as awake people, it's our job to pay attention to nuance. Continue Reading …
A Writer’s Inheritance: Fake it, then make it
Free-write Faker I follow my own rules for creativity when I’m with my students. When we free write, the law of the land is don’t stop writing no matter what. Because I am used to this physical commitment, rarely does nothing come out. So when my mind careened into a non-verbal ditch at an inopportune moment, in order to stay with the game, I kept on by fake writing. Not faking writing, but writing fake words. Pen still in motion. Rule not broken. Continue Reading …
Because I Myself Was Still Eating Sugar
A mother brought her young son to Mahatma Gandhi. Please, Gandhiji, she begged. My son eats so much sugar. I cannot get him to stop. Please, tell my son to stop eating sugar. Gandhi nodded. The truly wise ones usually take a substantial pause before responding to go within for a reality check. Then he said: OK, come back in a month. And that was a solution? Because you have to listen to what you’re told when you ask Gandhi for advice, or so I imagine—it’s not like asking a question on a forum on Yahoo groups—the mother left with her son, a bit baffled. One month later she dragged him back in. There was powdered sugar on the boy’s chin, frosting on the sleeve of his shirt, and chocolate stain near his belly button. Clearly her techniques were ineffective—the boy was wearing his rebuff as a military decoration. She stood the boy in front of Gandhi’s chair. Gandhiji, she said, desperately. I brought my son back, just like you told me to. Please tell him to stop eating so much sugar. Continue Reading …