Julian Jimenez's winning college essay begins, "Here comes Satanás... Behold his fiery, mischievous, defiant glory." I know: a risk. Just the kind that apparently makes admissions teams sit up and then salute. I had worked closely with Julian on his main college essay and supplements--if they don't take him, they're confused, I'd think. In admissions, though, criteria are complex. Excellent writing stands out, but it doesn't stand alone. Though the tone was often playful, I knew he wasn't playing. So when I saw his long list of impressive acceptances in the email, I was not surprised, but my heart did crack open. You'll remember my name Julian was dubbed "Satanas" as a child; Satan may have a really bad reputation in many circles, but we know what that figure does well is convince others to do things. In this case, his power of language (y'all are going to know my name!) held sway over admissions officers. They remembered his name and they put it on their BRING IT list. Committed to Princeton Julian wrote: "I'm proud to tell you that I have committed to Princeton! I actually got into roughly 90% of my top choices including Dartmouth, Columbia, USC, UCLA, Berkeley, Swarthmore, University of Notre Dame, UCSD and UCSB , and a few others." Now, if you follow my admissions essay work, you know I am not an Ivy Preacher nor swayed by school branding that's not backed up by substance and stellar education. Any school must be a potential a fit for that applicant. (Because, no, the Illustrious Ivies are not a fit for all, nor is their egregious price tag). But in this case, the enormity of the nations top schools saying YES YES YES CHOOSE US speaks volumes about Julian's renovation of his entire life, and his family's life and prospects. His was the kind of family this country claims currently to not want within our borders. Voice to and through the struggle Most of us have no idea what some students struggle through to get even a decent Continue Reading …
admissions officers
COVID and College Admissions: Time to Get Genuine!
Last night, I felt heartened listening to the Applerouth college admissions panel on post/COVID college admissions landscape. It reaffirmed a hopeful facet of our current tragedy, which is acute here in New York City: that some things could change for the better-- namely, increased access to higher ed, a more genuine and equitable admissions process. And some really great essays. :) The warm panelists spoke about all aspects of admissions, but at Essay Intensive, we're always thinking about the written portions. And as a writing coach, I was thrilled to hear how excited the panelists were for the essays to come! They were encouraged by what gets stripped away, the pretense in applications, the excess of striving to be The Best and Most. But they are even more pumped about what gets expressed: students having no choice but to be their genuine selves telling colleges who they are--without the Circus of activities and commitments speaking for them. Smaller lives that mean a bigger deal. The panelists had some concrete advice for high school students of all ages at this time of stay-at-home orders, that aligns fully with what I’m always telling them. This is not about what or how to study, and it’s not about scores and metrics: Do something goofy!Enjoy whatever you can Work on your Time managementRead booksSpend time with your parents or family-- have those deep conversations, have the difficult conversations-- don’t put off meaningful conversations. Be guided by your passion to learn-- and learn something! This is forced self-reflective time like you might *never* have again in the same way! (And hopefully not for the same reason). And (honest) self-reflection is college admissions (essay) gold! What do you do when you suddenly have time? When left to your own devices? What’s inherently interesting to you? These are practically college essay prompts, living in your head and day to day decision making. The pay-to-play stuff is Continue Reading …
Family Illness as Essay Topic
There is a myth that if you haven't faced adverse experiences like family illness, you can't write a great college essay. That's BS. You can write a great (college) essay on literally anything (and I rarely use the word "literally"). But at its center, the essay is about you. Everything else is a window to you. There is another equally problematic myth that if you've faced a family illness, that's automatically great topic for your essay. It might be. It might not be. I'm going to lay out some basic considerations if you're thinking about writing about someone else's illness, loss or tragedy that impacted you. Even if that's not your situation, read these pointers to learn a little about good writing. Resources for Illness and Loss First: some of the best sources I know to help cope with loss or grief are the teachings of Roshi Joan Halifax, Stephen and Ondra Levine, Frank Ostaseki, Sobonfu Somé. Also check out Terrible, Thanks for Asking, by Nora McInerny. Is Illness or loss part of your story? Are you even ready to go there? Some of my students have experienced intense familial illness and loss---at such a young ago. When I sit and listen to teenagers tell me about how this impacted their family unit, I grip my chair and breathe with them, encouraging us to keep our hearts not slammed shut around pain. I'm so impressed by how much they handled, and, often, how they handled intense emotional upheaval without totally checking out. I do not, however, suggest they write their essays on this. My own mother lost her mother when she was 13, and no one talked with her about what was happening. Or--gasp-- the fact that she might have feelings about it. She had to deal with those herself and for years, even to this day. I get how this stuff changes everything, forever. I also get how the processing is rarely instantaneous. Here's what to ask yourself if you think you want to write about illness or loss: What qualities of Continue Reading …
Before you write that essay about your hike…
Every year, I have students bring me that essay --the incredibly heartfelt one-- about their trip into the woods, or up a mountain. Some of these students are accomplished hikers, some total, struggling newbies. 97% of the time there are blisters in these essays. It's hard to explain to the writer that this rubs a blister in the admissions readers. But I have to try. Here's why: what you experience on the mountain top or in the mosquito-thick woods is likely very similar to what every other person who ever hiked experienced: irritation, discomfort, transcendence, appreciation, disappointment. Often, you leave with gratitude, renewed perspective. It's also very likely those two last mental states are quite short lived. That essay doesn't translate to real life! Say: until someone double-crosses you at school, or you drink soured milk your sibling put back in the fridge, or you can't get a new bus pass and you have to walk somewhere in the sheeting urban rain, or...the list of irritating things in everyday, non-hiking life that ask you to face your inner self goes on and on. Where are the woods then? Where are all those blisters and mosquitos and the high cloud vista of the craggy peaks? Admissions offers have heard that essay too many times The admissions readers have heard your story 10000000 times, maybe literally. They know you mean it-- but everyone does. They also know, because they have lived a little longer than you-- that those take-aways are often temporary. So they are looking for something more. Sorry to say: Not the cliched journey with its predictable life-lesson. So what are you to do, if that essay is burning a hole in your mind, feels like THE ONE? Find a unique angle on that essay You need to dig much, much deeper into your experience. Beyond even those aggravating, debilitating blisters that dominated your psyche at the time. Last year, I worked with a student whose essay took a long time to find itself, but when it Continue Reading …
But are you a good person?
The Good-Person Trend? Am I a good person? That question made the rounds this week with this NYTimes piece by a Dartmouth admission's officer, who herself had been rejected from the school when she applied. The article focused on an otherwise-averagely-strong student who was accepted to Dartmouth largely on the strength of his recommendation letter. What set this letter apart, and got his unanimous YES vote by the admissions committee? It was written by the school custodian, praising the student's level of basic respect, friendliness, and awareness for all people--ALL People-- at the school, the custodian included. Wait, but-- Am I a good person? Well, if you have to ask... You could go all politician-semantics and say, "Depends on how you define good." But you could also just look at yourself and what you do, take some notes, and evaluate. The writer warned that she expected a rash of applicants to follow the publication of the article with letters of support from their local garbage man, their school security guard, and so on. She was fine with that, if that trend tipped the balance of behavior and values in favor of students generally being truly good. But the thing is, a truly good person is not good BECAUSE OF WHAT IT GETS YOU. A truly good person is just good JUST BECAUSE. A Good person is good material I'm lucky-- my husband is this type of person. The other day, I was having a moan-y morning, feeling inadequate (hey, it happens sometimes), when he stopped me in my yowling tracks. You are good and loving, he said. What more do you want? Oh, gosh-- too bad I already applied to (and long finished) college! This would have been GREAT MATERIAL! No, you see, I am only kidding. Not everything can be used. Because I doubt this featured student was thinking, "I know: I'll clean up classrooms for four years, greet the custodians in the hall every time...so I can look good on my college application!" Good people do stuff Continue Reading …
3 lies you’ll tell yourself about your college essay
Three lies about your college essay you best not believe, starting now: My story doesn't matter. Nothing has ever happened to me. I don't know how to impress the admissions officer. Some help debunking these lies: All stories matter equally, like all people (should!) matter equally. If you got born, which I assume you did, something huge has already happened to you. From there, a million little and big happenings got you to the present. It doesn't really matter what you pick to talk about, so long as you can say something that is important to you. Then you connect that thing to a broader message or point. Finally, "impress"? You've picked the wrong verb. Try "how to move" the admissions officer. Continue Reading …