Student Sample Essay-- Start Them Writing Young The following sample personal essay, “Too Muslim for Violence” was written by Mohamed, my 7th grade student at The TEAK Fellowship. I am proud to share it with you here-- he has exploded into his voice over only 8 weeks in my class, and he has a message for us about individuality and peace. If you think you don't need to hear it, you're probably wrong. It's never too young to start them writing about what they see in the world, and who they might be. ** "Too Muslim for Violence" Al Salam Alaikum my brothers and sisters. Let’s start by defining that phrase. The phrase itself means peace be upon you. As Muslims, we greet each other with peace. It seems ironic that many people view us Muslims as terrorists, murderers, kidnappers, or basically any other negative role a human being can play. We greet each other with peace - where could the violence come from? I turn left and right on a cool Monday morning in my school uniform. Ready to learn and ready to see my friends, but definitely not ready for what was to come. As I read the news, my heart skipped a beat. A terrorist attack. Another terrorist attack. I was praying to God that it wasn't somebody with a Muslim name. Please no Ahmed, no Abdel, and absolutely no one else with the name Mohamed. I sunk down into a deep, deep, dark hole. I shut off my phone right away. By no means was this the first terrorist attack that I read about, but usually I was home. Not knowing what to say or what to do I wondered: Is anybody looking at me? Is anybody talking about me? I couldn’t believe what was on my phone - his name was even worse than I anticipated: Ahmed Muhammed. Two Muslim names but only one person. I just wanted to go back home because I worried my friends would be scared of me since a “Muslim” man blew up a church in Egypt. At that moment I felt like every person was saying, “All these Muslim people are so violent.” The media was successful again in spreading hate Continue Reading …
Students
Newest Common App Prompt #7
The Newest Common App Prompt #7 is all joy! I have to say, as a fan of freedom, I love number the new Common App prompt #7. And I quote: "Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design." If none of the other Common App prompts are really pulling forth what you want to say, here’s where you, well, go crazy! Be sure the essay you pick and the topic you choose STILL fulfill the purpose of the personal essay. It should show something important and revelatory about you that the rest of the application does not, in story form. News Flash: What we write about sometimes picks us Some applicants love a highly structured prompt. But others need more space and choice. The new addition of prompt #7 is an example of the Common App being really generous. They understand sometimes our best and most exemplary writing just happens to us unbidden. It picks us! This may not happen in response to a prompt. We may be pining for a chance to share that other thing that they didn't exactly ask for in any of the other six prompts. Voila! It's a fact (albeit muffled in certain education environments, boo hiss) that creative choice of topic and form drives your engagement. This can generate a passionate, powerful and, um, personal written product. Why? You had the license to receive and value whatever came to you. All the admissions committee wants in response to Common App prompt #7 (or any other) is for you to show your best writing and unique self. This gives them a perfect window into you. So, no excuses, friends. Prompts are meant to get your best for the admissions committee! Also-- it's worth re-tooting here that the admissions team is not working against you. The Common App revises their prompts year after year to try to offer applicants the best opportunities to produce meaningful, insightful, and representative writing. They want the good Continue Reading …
Guest Post: How To Be That One Black Girl At An Interview
To write powerful personal essays, make it a habit to use your voice early and often Immersing yourself in reading personal essays is a great way to develop range. The following sample personal essay was written by my former student Awa D. She is a truth-dropping 8th grader at The TEAK Fellowship, where I teach some of NYC's most dazzling public schoolers who are hellbent on shaping their futures through education. After reading Junot Diaz's short story, "How to Date a Brown Girl, (Black Girl, White Girl or Halfie)," the students were prompted to write their own "How To ______" personal essays about something in which they consider themselves an expert or authority. Awa wrote hers about being "that one black girl" at an interview for an NYC private school. She is observant, tough and tender, gentle in person, rigorous in word. Her personal essays have never shied away from the beauty or difficulty of being a person of color. Her family immigrated here from Mali, and she observes us all with special eyes. If you want to know how to help students write awesome personal essays for college admissions, I say: just start them writing personal essays earlier. Teach the hot skills of observation and reflection, and let them practice til their hands, minds and hearts catch fire. If you're looking to help yourself get stronger at writing personal essays, I'd say: pay attention to your life, and write, write, write what you notice, about whatever feels like a little fire under your skin. From Sample Student Personal Essays How To Be That One Black Girl At An Interview--by Awa D. This interview will make you wish you just had fresh box braids done at the local Fatima’s African Salon on 125th and Park Avenue. The itchy scalp, tightly added extensions that you had to take an Advil for, and chatter of 10 African ladies gossiping about the salon across stealing their customers would have all been worth it. But no, you just happen to have cut your hair to a Continue Reading …
Mainstream English, or Is That Voice “Mines”?
College Essay, Your Voice? College essays are supposed to represent the applicant's personality; as their paper doppelgänger, if anything should "center" the student voice, that's it. Personal essay teachers are tasked with "preserving" student voice. As your guide, my style should be invisible behind yours. No ventriloquism here. But sometimes, easier said than done. And the issue is not just aesthetic, but moral. 826NYC & Voice Justice This week I attended the interactive workshop "Justice & Equity Dialogues: Centering Student Voice" 826NYC, an organization I've had a crush on for some time. They host their writing magic in a "secret library" behind a superhero supply storefront (I mean, you checked their site, right?). So, enough said. Their workspace has warm wood tables, exposed brick, and two clocks, for "Brooklyn Time" and "Manhattan Time." The latter is an hour ahead of the former because, well, you people in Manhattan rush a tad too much. Their library, airy and light, is filled with self-published student work side by side with destined to be classics like, ahem, that new ballsy Bunny Book by John Oliver. Language Unicorn The facilitator, Rebecca Darugar, 826NYC's Director of Education, began the workshop by asking us to draw a unicorn together in our small groups on chart paper with markers, no further instructions. There was no model unicorn for us to study. And yet, when we compared the four drawings, they all had...what? You guessed it: a prominent horn, a more-or-less horse's physique, a mane (but a rainbow mane, m'kay?). Darugar pointed out: See? A unicorn doesn't exist. But still, we all follow these rules, which we've created and agreed upon at some point, that the unicorn looks a certain way. And only that way. No one's unicorn had a giraffe's body, none a lizard's. An imaginary beast, it nonetheless cohered to a relatively limited set of features. And (the main point of the workshop) language is just like that: language is an Continue Reading …
What will you teach yourself?
Self-directed learning is one of the most satisfying kinds. If no one else told you what to study, what would you want to learn about? How often do we stop to ask that question? What are you going to teach yourself? My stepson is currently teaching himself to break the Guinness Book of World Records in claps-per-minute. He has always been a kid who needs a physical expression for his nervous energy-- think, clinking forks, think pinging sporks, think yelling "LLAMA LLAMA!", think ... right. But he's actually focused on this one. It means incessant grating clapping-- and it's driving us batshit, but he's also driven. And he's getting somewhere. His chest muscles are increasing in size from the practice. If we can separate the sound from its irritating quality, it's actually impressive the number of claps he can pull off in a short span. There is a technique to it. It's superfluous, yes, but also a talent. It's weird and absorbing, the effort to improve. He's also got a measurement method-- not just "Wow, I feel like I am getting better at this!" but two phones to objectively chart his progress-- one with a timer, one with a slo-mo video. He uses them to count the claps. He's clapping all the time around the house, and he measures at intervals. Soon, he'll draft his letter to the Guinness Board, whoever that is, and prepare his application materials. What You Teach Yourself, You'll LEARN What's the point? There is no point, really. I mean, it's fabulous to be the best at something esoteric-- I am telling you, no one can swipe the garlicky-oily-salty residue on a cooking skillet better than I can-- but it's also just something you can teach yourself just because. Learning should pull us in; learning should make us care to be better, driven to be better, sometimes even maniacal to be better. So often in school we're told, "Learn this; You MUST be good at Chemistry, or your head will be cut off!" But what if you just can't hang with the complexity Continue Reading …
Teens have always had strong BS detectors
Teens Vs. BS is Not New News! This week, the internet is (understandably) suddenly loving teen students, because of their rallying cry against BS. Some of us have always known this is true about teenagers. I have always loved working with teens because their BS detectors are so strong. The teen years are about learning survival: fit in or perish. To get through middle and high school, you have to know the real thing from BS. Sometimes you yourself have to BS painfully in order to get by, as you figure out who you are and who you want to be. This is also, by the way, what school should be for. NOT relentless tests which call for projectile regurgitation of arbitrary knowledge. And definitely NOT for hiding under desks. Teens have the clues for us I know this to be true because my students write about this all the time, unsparingly, if you give them a chance. Adults so often assume teens are clueless, shame on us. I think the opposite is true-- teens are picking up ALL the clues. It's unrelenting. So teens sometimes have to act clueless because getting hit with what life is really like, and the BS people settle for, is sometimes just too much. The classic adolescent struggle--fit in or perish-- is supposed to be psychological, not literal. This week, like many weeks in the recent history of this country, it was also literal. At Parkland, the teens who survived their classmate's gunfire, refused to accept the BS condolences that didn't signal real, immediate tangible change in gun laws, gun access, and school safety. They used their superpower to say-- we don't want your BS, we don't want your prayers, we want things to be different. And we will make you listen. And this was somehow staggering, because who knew teens could call out BS when they saw it? (Writing teachers). Aim for transformation of BS in your college essays If what the Parkland teens said and did isn't adolescent bull-headedness turned toward the light, what is? They were unafraid Continue Reading …