In college admissions essays, students are asked to identify their core traits, explicitly and implicitly. However, most teens I know don’t sit around thinking about this. Despite the myth that they are completely self-absorbed, I believe teens are often thinking about self relationally. For example, like my stepson, they might be spending their time in awe at human talent, watching people chase a wheel of cheese down a hill. (Go ahead, take a look.) It can feel really hard to dig in and identify personal descriptions, even armed with lists of adjectives or exploratory worksheets to help you choose. Not sure how to figure out what your core qualities are? Feeling kinda flat and regular? I’ll give you the secret trick to identifying personal characteristics for your college essay: Text your besties to ask them about your core traits! That’s right, do it now! I’ll wait… Choose 1-3 friends who you think know you best. People who really get you. Text them this: “Hey, what are the first three words that come to mind when you think of me? How would you describe me? No cursing: it’s for my college application!” Then wait. See what they say. Once they respond, read their words aloud. See how you feel when you read them. If they don’t text you back quickly enough, text them again: “U R RUINING MY COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROSPECTS. PL REPLY.” (If they still don’t text you– bite it, and call them. Write down what they tell you, verbatim). You could also ask, “What is the best thing about being friends with me?”. When my stumped stepson tried this, his besties answered in about 5 seconds, eliminating many hours of agony while he tried to get started on his own. The words they chose for him were completely apt. He turned that frown upside down and started writing a supplement. Reflect on their responses about your core traits What did your friends say were some of your core traits? Consider: Does it feel true? Continue Reading …