Most students I work with don't REALLY trust that they have what it takes to write great college essays. But I have never met a student who doesn't have what it takes. I have met students who don't want to do what it takes. But you won't be that student. Because you're here. And you read more than four sentences. What it takes: BREATHING My first tip is: mindful breathing. Actually, that's my only tip. Many students don't trust that tip. Is that all I have to do? No- it's the first thing you have to do. And anyone can do it, because I have a video to guide you, and you have 1 minute. Even if it's 1 minute in the bathroom. I love meditations that almost anyone can do, in a very short period of time, to regulate themselves. Our days are hectic. Though the benefits of meditation increase with hours logged (I think this is true of everything) this 1-minute exercise can be a state-changer (for students and adults). I suggest trying it out before writing or researching college. If you love it, repeat it! If you really love it, tell your parent/s. Youtube: 1 minute breathing meditation, with silent visual guidance. AND! If any part of the college essay writing process spikes your pressures, return here. :) Breathing will be part of your strategy! You'll stand out. :) What it takes: REALISM AND POSITIVITY Your “strategy” should also entail two pillars: realism and positivity. You’ll be well served as a family by intentionally adopting a realistic approach (the cost of college can be…brutal for most? fit is more important thank ranking) and a positive mindset (you want to live a full-on life, in every sense, at whatever college you choose to attend-right?). Add these together So as you breathe in and out, you could try the following affirmations. I don't argue with reality; I have a positive view of my future. Breathing in: I don't argue with reality, I face it. Breathing out: I have a positive view of my future. If those Continue Reading …
State of Mind
You don’t have nothing to write about in your college essay
The most common (untrue) thing I hear from teens beginning their college essay process is that they have nothing to write about. Nothing to say. Girl, that's a high aim! Monks train for years to attain that state of reverential silence. But most of us non-monk-types? We don't have nothing to write about. We just don't know how to bring it out, how to give it form and structure suited to the task. 30 seconds of "nothing" Take a minute (literally) and pause that belief, and watch your thoughts instead. Can you hear the non-silence? Can you hear the plenty? Most of us would ultimately agree: our mind never really stops talking to us. It repeats itself a lot too, in case we missed it the first time. Or the second. Just try to have complete quiet and stillness inside for 30 seconds and see how many life stories show up. Then follow where they lead as they slip over the horizon of your focus. And, of course, be their scribe! You work for them. :) And if you still (mistakenly) think you have nothing to write about, be a true committed spectator to that state. Watch your nerves fire and charge like Pac Man traveling around the twisting mysterious corners of your perplexing consciousness. It will eat those ellipses right up! Quick Exercise against "nothing" to write about For me, a great writing exercise to begins with listing brands. Yes, product brands. Start with your childhood. Make a quick list of brands in your household. (do it along with me!) Mine would look like this: -Ajax dish soap, St. Ives Scrub, Vaseline, Choc full o' nuts coffee, Jason's Jojoba Conditioner, Teddygrams And then I would build out more active memories from there, expanding each brand name into 1-2 sentences: My dad making his coffee at 4AM, smelling it when I couldn't sleep. The bowl of teddy grams next to my homework, which I did every day at the same spot at my parents creaking table. My mom's vaseline self-treatment for dry-skin, which soaked her feet while she Continue Reading …
Anatomy of a college essay (a primer)
Understanding the anatomy of a college essay is not where most admissions guidance starts, but it can be where YOURS starts. You might have thought your college essay was just no more than a loaded 650 words with a central thesis and some compelling take-aways. You know, your most solid self-reflective prose and an ambassador of some facet of your innermost being. Yes, it’s that! But it’s also composed of other vital parts. If you’re new to this body of work, here’s an anatomy lesson. Your college essay has words (of course!) as its cellular building blocks. But it also has: A beating heart Lungs A skeleton Muscles A vascular system A nervous system Whether you’re an anatomy geek like me, or you like slightly hard-to-calibrate metaphors, or are bored of reading the same old same old about this admissions artifact, I see you! For the nuts and bolts, you can read my posts about the college essay timeline and writing process. Here’s a primer on the parts of your college essay. The beating heart The beating heart of the college essay is that moment when your reader can see inside to your vulnerability. The thing which, if grasped hard and pulled, you might not live without. The thing that almost hurts you to show on your sleeve. The thing you’re afraid to admit, but which is part of the alchemy that makes you you. Without a moment in the essay where I arrive at- and FEEL- the heart of the matter, it may not have the emotional energy the best writing needs. The lungs The lungs of the college essay have everything to do with the pace of the writing. The pace of the writing has everything to do with the reader’s ability to take it in what you are talking about. There is a reason we don’t normally inhale for 30 seconds straight. What would we do with all that oxygen? It’s important to strive for variable sentence length, the way you might breathe a little harder and faster to walk up stairs than to walk to your bathroom. Continue Reading …
First write a bad college essay draft
First write a bad college essay draft to write a great essay I spend a lot of my time helping students unfreeze, and accept that if they first write a “bad” college essay draft, it might be THE most important step to a great draft. This blog came from a bunch of “you can write your essay” pep talks I gave to students over the past few weeks (and years!). ** It’s very paralyzing if you think you have to have a finished product before you even really started your college essay!** Most students don’t know how to write a narrative essay– I didn’t either, back when. But fretting about a lack of a skill never taught it to you. If it did, we’d all be amazing at things we never tried, but fretted a lot about. :) In fact, anxiety about the essay is exactly what will stop you from writing a great personal essay. You need to understand, hack, and tap into– the organic writing process. What’s the solution? FLOW. (Too Impatient for a pep talk? Cut right to getting expert help writing your college essay draft HERE.) A few essential reminders about writing college essay DRAFTS BTW: Even though I use the term “bad” throughout, I’m just using the language my students use. We should NOT call it a “bad” draft! There is nothing good or bad about it! It’s just… a draft! You might not even know the best college essay topic before you start writing! The search for a great college essay topic and totally great essay is noble and important, even critical. However, in my experience, you often have to write into a topic idea before you can be sure if it will work well or not. This is true for the supplemental essays and the Common App essays. It’s also true for…basically all writing! What sounds like a good idea while scaffolding might be less evocative (as in: not work) in execution. THAT IS A NORMAL PART OF THE PROCESS. The order goes: bad draft, good draft, great draft (but it can take way way more than three attempts!). And the writing might Continue Reading …
Core Traits? Text Your Bestie!
In college admissions essays, students are asked to identify their core traits, explicitly and implicitly. However, most teens I know don’t sit around thinking about this. Despite the myth that they are completely self-absorbed, I believe teens are often thinking about self relationally. For example, like my stepson, they might be spending their time in awe at human talent, watching people chase a wheel of cheese down a hill. (Go ahead, take a look.) It can feel really hard to dig in and identify personal descriptions, even armed with lists of adjectives or exploratory worksheets to help you choose. Not sure how to figure out what your core qualities are? Feeling kinda flat and regular? I’ll give you the secret trick to identifying personal characteristics for your college essay: Text your besties to ask them about your core traits! That’s right, do it now! I’ll wait… Choose 1-3 friends who you think know you best. People who really get you. Text them this: “Hey, what are the first three words that come to mind when you think of me? How would you describe me? No cursing: it’s for my college application!” Then wait. See what they say. Once they respond, read their words aloud. See how you feel when you read them. If they don’t text you back quickly enough, text them again: “U R RUINING MY COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROSPECTS. PL REPLY.” (If they still don’t text you– bite it, and call them. Write down what they tell you, verbatim). You could also ask, “What is the best thing about being friends with me?”. When my stumped stepson tried this, his besties answered in about 5 seconds, eliminating many hours of agony while he tried to get started on his own. The words they chose for him were completely apt. He turned that frown upside down and started writing a supplement. Reflect on their responses about your core traits What did your friends say were some of your core traits? Consider: Does it feel true? Continue Reading …
Avoid these 5 college essay mistakes!
To an essay coach (me) who has helped hundreds of teens write their best college essays, there is nothing new under the sun. Even the sun. Especially when it comes to paralysing fear tactics delivered via expert headlines! Don't worry: the college essay process is NOT just a Greco-Roman road full of ankle-annihilating potholes and partially-discernible SAT-word mosaics. So I'm cautioning YOU against these top five college essay mistakes I've seen applicants make. Avoiding these five college essay mistakes will save you time, sweat, tears and curse words as you write-- or delay writing-- your admissions essay content. To write your absolute best college essay, or even mediocre-but-passable college essay, avoid these 5 things: Spending all your time reading 'what to avoid in your college essay' lists Hyper-focusing or procrastinating Modeling your essay too closely after someone else's Missing out on other life and growth experiences Not trusting that who you are is enough Let's break down these common mistakes. Don't: 1) Spend all your time reading avoid lists Students sometimes show up at sessions like bullet points with legs, "What not to do" items they've absorbed from the internet, counsellors, teachers. Yes, there is good advice in those lists. Lots I agree with. But no one ever got great at something from reading all the ways NOT to do it. Yes, limit your scope; yes, proofread carefully, yes, don't use invective or rage against the machine. But also, write. Keep writing. Experiment. Discover. Revise. Try again. Use detail. Hook me emotionally. 2) Hyperfocus or procrastinate Like many other coaches, I encourage students to start writing application essays early. You may write a few "practice" drafts or "warm up" drafts (or even "garbage" drafts), like you would for any big "game." And, like most of us, you might want to stall a bit on the stickier parts, or the dread of facing yourself. BUT over focusing on the essay too Continue Reading …