Americans eat something like a billion pounds of peanut butter per year--and most students feel, at their most eye-roll-y moments, like they write about a billion college essays (all those supplements!). If you want to develop a good essay, however, we could learn a thing or two from our popular staple peanut butter. The Peanut Butter /Writing Process My older stepson, K, is a bit obsessed with pb&j. Turns out it's also the #1 choice of pre-game meals for the NBA (though they could afford caviar!), and most non-allergic elementary school kids (who scoff at caviar!). As soon as K walks in the kitchen, the possibility of pb hijacks his decision-making process. He pulls out the bread, the oversized jars of pb and local honey, and gets to work. His heart throbs. The thing is, it's torture watching him make it. Because he takes so very long, spreading that peanut butter. He runs the flat edge of the butter knife over and over the bread until there are zero lumps. The pb is exactly smooth. And 10 minutes have passed, maybe more. He devours it in three bites. Develop, delete; create, destroy; produce, consume; repeat. Why this makes me want to lose my mind is a good question-- it's not my time or my sandwich. Your college essay is not mine either. And I don't lose my mind over it, nor should you (except in the healthy way that sometimes we need to lose ourselves to find ourselves). However, I think we could consider K's approach to peanut butter spreading as one of the perfect metaphors for a common problem-- the essay that a writer did not develop evenly sometimes misses the mark. So what do you need to consider to develop a strong essay? Not a flimsy, disappointing sandwich? How to develop your college essay (quick & dirty): don't over-expend on the intro include enough backstory vivify with scenesmake some meaninghave realistic aspirationsconnections should be freshin conclusion, DON'T SAY IN CONCLUSION!--but give me a gift! Put it Continue Reading …
Revising
When (and Why) You Should Throw Out Your College Essay
One of the biggest issues I see in student writers is reluctance to throw out a college essay (or frankly any piece of writing) that isn't working. But this is one of the most liberating and helpful things you can do. You might object: But I already put in so much time! I lost so much sleep over this version! Maybe if I just change this ONE sentence.. swap out some vocabulary words for synonyms, add a sentence about my major..?!?!? Maybe. But if you've already worked it to death and can summon the courage to admit it's not working, the Essay Angel of Mercy might whisper: o beloved writer-- free yourself and start fresh. Because maybe you're just clinging. Sometimes just being willing to throw writing out leads you to the revision solution. A clenched fist is not agile, responsive or particularly creative, even if it is strong. Sometimes, fate will throw out your essay for you! I know the pain of letting go of something you worked on so hard. LET ME TELL YOU about the time my entire grad MFA school application, all 15 pages, crashed 24 hours before it was due? I may or may not have thrown a cup at the wall. But i had no choice: here we go again. Hefty caffeine dose. 23 straight hours of work (And, yep, I did teach after that, it was enlightening). And I swear: the next version was so much better, more agile, less belabored, more honest. It was like the computer threw it out for me to do my a favor. All ideas lead to other ideas! This is where you get to trust that all that work churned up meaningful ideas and that the paths forward are many. To make a gardening metaphor: It's like clearing old roots before you can plant something new. Even if you've never planted you can imagine old dirt impacted with knotted roots-- not much fresh is going to happen there. When you decide you're willing to throw out the old essay, you tend to be less precious in the next draft. The tracks of thinking and feeling have been greased. The Continue Reading …
Before you write your college essay on video games
Every year, I see a whole bunch of well-meaning students who want to write their college application essays about playing video games, their talent, bliss, hard-earned improvement over time, frustrations when they just can't beat XYZ and-- PSA, please rethink this college essay topic choice, friends. Maybe the topic feels oh-so-right to you, and you're perplexed why I (who am all about student choice) am handing the essay back to you to revise. Yes, you can sometimes "lose all track of time" playing your favorite video games. And isn't that exactly what Common App Prompt #6 is asking about? Sure, the Common App want to know about your total absorption, such that the rest of life falls away (who cares if it's garbage pickup day?), and all that matters is your passion. Right? That is-- until you're stumped, stuck at Level 3 (Common App #6 asks, "Why does it captivate you? "Because I need to get to level four, hello?), and throw your controller at the wall. Maybe you call your cousin for help, the one who regularly locks himself in his room for three days straight with a jumbo size Mountain Dew-You-Ever-Even-Drink-Water (Common App #6 asks, "What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?"). There has got to be more to your life and soul than this. But shouldn't you write your essay about what you love most? (Well, maybe!) AND GAMING MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE, you'll argue! Yes, these video games are the most exciting thing to you since sliced bread (because, hey, when bread is already sliced, you can blindly pull two pieces out of the bag and put them right in your mouth!). But it's not a great idea to subject admissions readers to your level-upping problems and prowess. Maybe they'll worry you'll spend all your time at their school gaming too-- versus, say, focusing on academics. Or maybe they will feel judgment about a student habit that doesn't add a whole lot to the world. I'm riffing here, and it has nothing to do with Continue Reading …
But does my essay sound pretentious?
Recognize your pretentious verbal hairballs I've had more than one language-loving writing student who falls in love with a pretentious phrase in their college application essay. Like, in looooooooooooove. Those phrases are likely to offend a reader's sensibility, and I mark them with skull and crossbones right away. I explain the problem with other examples: (A) "Wherefore was I this way?" Wherefore? Stop. Romeo will not be one of your admissions readers. He lost his mind over way more important things. (B) "All I could see was the ever-loosening latticework of my sneakers"? Stop. You were looking at your shoelaces. They are laces and they are on your shoe. They happen to criss-cross. (C) "I was ensconced in my rumination about my perambulations in the rectangular hospital corridors?" Hmmm, really? Just stop. I need a respirator to get through that doozy. Were you thinking about the nights you spent walking in circles in the hospital? Usually we can hear others' pretentious wording, but not our own. Most of us actually have a pretty good ear, and pretty strong distaste, when we are not the one who wrote it. Drop the Pretense Often, pretentiousness is a cover; in fact, that's all it ever is. But a good admissions essay takes your cover OFF. You are better served to leave pretentious phrases for your private enjoyment; no one is stopping you. In a college essay, your deepest goal should be to have something real to say, and to be as honest, though elegant, as you can be. And honesty is best registered through simplicity and clarity. I've helped many students who clutch to this or that phrase loosen their grips and I know the pain of it. You'll be white-knuckled for a bit until you get used to the substitute phrase, the one that "just" says what you mean. After all, most of us are not pretentious to be jerks-- we want to appear smart, cultured, and we want our words to stick out, to strike the ear, to sound Continue Reading …
Keep Developing Your Essay
Why we tell you to keep developing your essay ...even after admissions When Reggie handed me his college essay free-write in the middle of my Essay Intensive writing workshop at JPMorgan's The Fellowship Initiative, I just about fell out of my chair. "I haven't really written about this before," he said offhandedly. "What do you think? Could you tell me if it's good?" Students contextualize their writing this way to me all the time-- regarding everything from compulsory chicken scratch, to sob stories about a low grade on a math test, to Oedipal tales, to wrenching sagas of family illness. But this essay was different. Within a few sentences, a loved one was cruelly dead-- and his real loss was not even months old. Continue Reading …
Your reader doesn’t know your story
Your relationship with your reader determines your success How much should you consider your reader? Thinking about your reader too much can make you a self-conscious college essay writer. You can't write a word without wondering how it's perceived. Know this feeling?: uh-oh, is there something in my (sentence's) teeth? Just in case, you should only talk with your lips pressed against them. It's awkward but doable. But maybe not your best social strategy. Because in your response to the problem, you act unnaturally. Which itself points back to the problem. Did you follow that? No? Try this: Unnatural writing makes your essay cumbersome and-- hate to say it-- annoying. You need to find and honor the line between self-aware and self-defeating. On the other hand, not thinking about your reader enough can make your story impossible to follow. And therefore your college essay will fail to move the reader, or inspire that coveted college acceptance. Where's that happy middle place? Because there is so much your reader doesn't know unless you say it. What you should do for your reader Your reader needs your courtesy. Clarify, define or elaborate on your main references. Supply just enough context that your narrative is engaging and not confusing. Continue Reading …