In college admissions essays, students are asked to identify their core traits, explicitly and implicitly. However, most teens I know don’t sit around thinking about this. Despite the myth that they are completely self-absorbed, I believe teens are often thinking about self relationally. For example, like my stepson, they might be spending their time in awe at human talent, watching people chase a wheel of cheese down a hill. (Go ahead, take a look.) It can feel really hard to dig in and identify personal descriptions, even armed with lists of adjectives or exploratory worksheets to help you choose. Not sure how to figure out what your core qualities are? Feeling kinda flat and regular? I’ll give you the secret trick to identifying personal characteristics for your college essay: Text your besties to ask them about your core traits! That’s right, do it now! I’ll wait… Choose 1-3 friends who you think know you best. People who really get you. Text them this: “Hey, what are the first three words that come to mind when you think of me? How would you describe me? No cursing: it’s for my college application!” Then wait. See what they say. Once they respond, read their words aloud. See how you feel when you read them. If they don’t text you back quickly enough, text them again: “U R RUINING MY COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROSPECTS. PL REPLY.” (If they still don’t text you– bite it, and call them. Write down what they tell you, verbatim). You could also ask, “What is the best thing about being friends with me?”. When my stumped stepson tried this, his besties answered in about 5 seconds, eliminating many hours of agony while he tried to get started on his own. The words they chose for him were completely apt. He turned that frown upside down and started writing a supplement. Reflect on their responses about your core traits What did your friends say were some of your core traits? Consider: Does it feel true? Continue Reading …
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Sample Common App Essay: Believe in Yourself Harder
Morgan's Sample Common App College Admissions Essay -- with my commentary Morgan's advice to applicants: "You've got to be vulnerable, or it's not going to work." Believe In Yourself Harder Your lowest point can be your turning point. I learned this in 10th grade when I told my mom about my reading problems. She didn’t believe me. Wasn’t she supposed to be my biggest supporter? I was scared. Were my feelings accurate or imagined? Was I just “a slow reader” or was it something else? Either way, I could not go on like this. I knew I hadn’t performed well on my first test of the year. When the grade was posted as 63, I was speechless, painfully holding back tears. My parents seemed furious (in reality, probably just confused). “Did you study?” I thought they’d be understanding, but “D” was a new game. I knew I’d have to work even harder to believe the affirmations I repeated daily, “I am smart, I am capable,” – reminders that my intelligence wasn’t determined by grades alone. Raised to have agency, one of my greatest fears is turning into someone who looks for pity or sees myself as a victim. To avoid this, I’d study 10+ hours for one test– unsustainable. Would overdrive improve my performance? My grades slipped; my anxiety climbed. As my education and future depended on my actions, I admitted to my advisor there was a problem, advocating for her to speak to my mom. This paid off: we learned I wasn’t “just” a slow reader, but there was a bigger problem that I received help to address. Aware there would be a day when I’d have to stand up for myself, I never imagined it would be at home. My parents had always encouraged positive self-talk, emphasizing the importance of feeling confident in our skin and having pride in our heritage. They taught us always to give 100% effort, never quit, and find paths forward. These beliefs were pivotal to the development of my self-esteem, my crown jewel. Now, when seemingly no one validated my perspective, I was forced to Continue Reading …
When Should I Start My College Essay?
I'm going to answer this common question, "When should I start my college essay?" with three contradictory responses. Enjoy! The best time to start your college essay is: Right now! As early as possible. Whenever the stress response will most work in your favor. Let's break it down. There are at least three right approaches: First, I don't know when you're asking this question. If it's February (when I'm writing this), and you're a junior, I'll give you some general tips. Right now you can: Learn about craft in writing. What makes a great opener? How about a dead one? Can you identify great, succinct description? Work on assessing tone. What kinds of personal claims sound pretentious? Authentic? (I wish there was a swab test for this!) Make Lists: What do you love? Absolutely hate? How about some quirky personal facts? (i.e. you hate cracking eggs). What are some of your favourite things to do or think about? Quick, stream-of-consciousness lists can reveal a lot. Understand "fit" with college specific notes: Guess what, there are a LOT of supplements you'll write. They MATTER to your application success. Whenever you learn about a new college, take the extra 3-5 minutes to jot down a few SPECIFIC things you noticed about it and are truly interested in ("nice quad" doesn't really count. Everyone loves a nice quad). As early as possible: Drafts I read written by juniors are rarely the drafts I suggest they send to college. BUT it gets you started on the form. And some times you have to write a bad essay to get it out of the way so you can eventually write your good and true one. It's never too early to understand the genre of college essay for an admission audience. Read! Not necessarily college essays, but personal essays. What do they have in common? Characters, conflict/problem, a TURNING POINT, and some change. And context, friends. You need some context. There is no wasted effort if your goal is good writing. Ask Continue Reading …
“I hate my college essay supplements!” It’s OK, we got you.
Are you stressed as all hell about supplements? Are you starting to get stiff in your language or overwhelmed by the sheer number of prompts, that all feel vaguely similar? I'm here to give you a pep talk about the “Why This School?” essays that are most challenging for students to write well. Are you starting to write supplemental essays that sound like: “The majestic campus enthralled me and I imagined myself walking down the path to the dining hall….” GAH. Take a big step back. 3 things to remember that will help you avoid common pitfalls: 1) supplements are a dating game 2) go beyond 1-click research to authentic interest 3) don’t tell them what they already know (OK, and four-- it’s OK to sound like you.) These Tips Will IMMEDIATELY Make Your College Supplements Suck Less The supplements are a dating game and you don’t have to treat them any differently. You might be amazing, and the school might be amazing, but how does that help you be amazing together? It doesn’t. I’ve read so many “vanilla” supplements, with a lot of “right” words but no distinctive flavor about the individual applicant. If you and this school are really committing to each other (which you are), then use the supplement as a chance to weave in your particular interests. Tell them a little something you didn’t focus on elsewhere-- that you’ve been deconstructing family toasters since you were 3 and are interested in their engineering track. Or maybe you spent all of middle school browsing the library and you’re interested in literacy classes. Or maybe you grew up in a very small town and you’re so excited about their campus cultural initiatives. Make yourself an attractive person to date and commit to. 2. If you try to stack your supplements with “1-click” research, you look lazy. Dig into their website! Take a virtual tour and come up with a list of questions. Notice specifics. What research are their professors doing? What is student life like? Go at least Continue Reading …
The Secret of Youth-Writing Prompt
What is the secret of youth? The secret of youth is the subtext of many commercials, crappy diet plans, and plastic surgeries-- none of which I recommend pursuing. (But you know what I will recommend? Writing!). The secret of youth is also something we discover when we get space from our fossilized concepts of how things are. Teenagers have the hard and sometimes gratifying job of shaking us more grown people out of our comfy delusions. But little kids can do that too, just by being themselves, engaging with the world at face value. Continue Reading …
Parents, Don’t Lose it Over the Essay
Last year I was a contributor at TeenLife Mag and got to offer some advice on one of my favorite subjects: relationships. In particular, how parents and kids can avoid losing it over the college essay. I'm a parent and step-parent now, and I really get how tricky it can be. We all need reminders that our relationship with our kid is faaaaar more important than anything we might want for them to accomplish. It doesn't always feel that way-- when our kids don't want our input. It doesn't always feel that way-- when our kids act annoyed that we parents seem so focused on a deadline. It doesn't always feel that way-- when we parents worry about the future. It doesn't always feel that way-- when we parents think our kid might be too focused, too stressed, and we want them to take a breather. An Interactive Talk For Parents (Let's Not Lose our Shiz!) If you're local to Brooklyn, you can come to an interactive talk at Bee Tutored-- register here. If you're not local, we can book a phone session. This might be the most important thing I have to offer, and that you have to offer: love, love, love. It looks different in every family system, just like every family looks different. I'll offer tools to help your inner world when the outer world is just a tad nutty. Please come be part of the conversation! We can take back the college essay! Continue Reading …