I'm a big believer in guided free-writing for students: Just when you think you have nothing to write about for your college essay (or generally!), BOOM, a subject appears from the back of your mind. It's like magic: awesome, repeatable and yours if you want it. Free-writing helps young writers produce freely I watched this magic happen again this weekend in Chicago, at JPMorgan Chase The Fellowship Initiative. We convened on the 56th floor of the company skyscraper, where I offered my intro to the college essay workshop (a sizzling title!) meant to fire up the Fellows' creative circuits. The offices sported a dizzying, commanding view of miniaturized downtown, Big Ole Lake Michigan, and a huge sky. The view itself said, "We own this!" Exactly how I hope the students come to feel about their college essays. Exactly where the productive power of free-writing can get you. Continue Reading …
stress
Crappy Moods, Comedians, and the Writer’s Cure
Crappy moods: they happen. (Reader, are you straight-jacket-ed by a particularly crappy mood currently? Cut right to this Louis CK cure. Road-test the comedians' corrective. And come back to read the rest of this later.) Crappy moods are like reverse rainbows, showing up when weather conditions are darkly unfavorable in inner or outer environment or both. At their best, crappy moods facilitate discharge of the nastier emotions. and move on. You know the drill: kick your drawer shut, and break your own toe in the process. Slam household items around. Be snappy at those you love. Mope and mull. It's not usually a pretty picture. But Crappy Moods sometimes settle in like shower mildew, and can put a serious cramp in your creativity. Comedians: they help. Your Crappy Mood is an orchard ripe for picking for comedians, who can find the humor in anything-- the less seemingly funny it is, the better. Your irrational or irritable behavior is already slightly ridiculous to anyone who's not you. A comedian laughs not just with you, but at you. And you'll want them to. Because then you'll have to laugh at yourself, and this is the healthiest way to return to creativity, sanity, and general equilibrium. Let Joan Rivers explain Joan Rivers told Larry King, "I purposely go into areas that people are still very sensitive about and smarting about, because if you can laugh at it, you can deal with it. That's how I've lived my whole life. I swear to you - and I'm Jewish - that if I were in Auschwitz, I would have been doing jokes just to make it OK for us." But to deal with it, you have to know that it's there in the first place. Crap Under the Radar Crappy moods happen more frequently and more fiercely when something is bugging us just under the radar of our awareness. Some unaddressed stressor, or maybe a small mountain of them. Some factor out of our control, like whether or not-- emphasis on not-- our writing is universally loved. Or, more to the point Continue Reading …
How to Take a Deep Breath
Pause the panic mode You know when you're getting really pissed off, anxious, or stressed, and someone says, "It's OK, just take a deep breath"? Sometimes, you want to smack the person. Even so, you suspect that advice is spot-on, and that your emotional hubbub (Too many application essays, anyone? Computer stalling, anyone? Fridge has no food again, anyone? Relatives grating at you, anyone?) could get quietly derailed. But in the moment, when you're stuck in shallow breathing (and maybe shallow thinking), "Take a deep breath" is annoying to hear, and for whatever reason hard to remember to do. Even though it's the easiest-- and actually most helpful-- thing of all (and free--did we say free?). Plus, maybe you don't know how. Really how. These trying moments of intensity can be greeted as opportunities for taking-- or learning to take, or finding value in taking-- a deep breath. I have to relearn this lesson all the time. So get your big breath on If you've never been shown otherwise, you might take a deep breath by puffing up your chest while tensing your jaw and shoulders, and leave it at that. No bueno. Instead, read on to learn what that well-meaning correct-but-pain-in-your-ass person could have instructed you to do-- a gift you can give yourself right now, and every day from now on, if you so choose. How can you get that restorative, revitalizing deep breath? You know, the one that makes all your problems (momentarily) go away? Well, it's not just your chest you want to move, even though that's the part of our bodies we most closely associate with breathing. In fact, it's more helpful if you think your lungs are in your belly. Your diaphragm will pull down the lower lobes of your lungs, and your blood, brain and spirit will be richer for it. Your parasympathetic nervous system, the function that allows you to relax, will give you a full-bodied thumbs-up. Here's the triumvirate of breathing exercises Try it according to my Continue Reading …
Gratitude Glasses
Why put a limit on gratitude? One day each year we're told by the calendar to feel grateful. But this shortchanges what gratitude can do for you, if you practice it beyond the national holiday. In short, gratitude gives everything in your life an upgrade. It makes you a bad-ass in the face of set-backs; It makes you not an ass in the face of great good fortune. And you can make it part of your daily routine, if you're hoping to live a rich existence. And of course we're going to say it has benefits for your college essay (it really does) and your appeal to admissions officers (positivity is attractive). But that is just the beginning of how this feeling and virtue can alter your perspective and prospects for the better. Gratitude's brag sheet Gratitude opens you to what is, rather than what isn't. Gratitude allows you to appreciate, rather than depreciate, your life as it is. Gratitude is anti-consumerism-- it doesn't need more, it always has enough. Gratitude is knowing even the chance to apply to college, the know-how to get through even the simplest application, spells opportunity and privilege. Compare this with the education models available elsewhere in the world and you'll resent the effort a little less. Gratitude is simple-- you can exercise is towards anything. You can be grateful you can read these words, breathe, drink water, pee...no, really, the list never runs out. It's actually inexhaustible. Gratitude gives you a second chance when there is a shit-storm. When things don't go "your way." When you-- if you-- get rejected. When you-- if you---get accepted. Gratitude gains you positivity The chain works like this: Gratitude induces positive feelings where more are needed or where there aren't any. Positive feelings set your nervous system at ease. Positive feelings lower baseline stress. A nervous system at ease is solution-oriented. A nervous system at ease believes things can or will be OK. There is science to Continue Reading …