Easy to Advise, Hard to Do: Stay Curious By now, you've pressed submit on your college applications. Or your child has. Or your friend has. Or someone you knew as a baby has. Or you're reflecting on an upcoming big decision that is is-- at this point out-- of your hands (more on hands in a moment). How can you keep from dying with agony over what the results will be? Be curious. And by "curious", I don't mean obsessed. And I don't mean neurotically rehearsing possibilities. "Be curious" urges and instructs you to find in yourself an open state of friendly inquiry into the present. As in, the present. As in, the present. I didn't know any better back when I'm a hypocrite. When I was waiting for my college letters, 8 million years ago when humans had just sprouted opposable thumbs, I couldn't maintain the equanimous tenet of "Be curious" (about your experience). No, I had the worst nightmares of my life, things I couldn't even believe my imagination could come up with, in an other-wise generally PG-13-rated brain-scape, and content I don't feel comfortable rehashing in this blog. But almost 20 years later, I still remember those dreams vividly. So you can imagine how much they sucked, and how much my mind was hijacked by worry about what I could not control. This is why I can say confidently that if you can "be curious" instead of "being consumed", your time will pass a lot more enjoyably. An exercise in curiosity with opposable thumbs Your opposable thumbs are going to be your ally in this moment. Check 'em out. Stick 'em up. Gaze at their tips to steady your attention. Make them kiss each other like I did as a kid. Be curious about your hands, like a baby (or a stoner, but that's a different matter) might be. (Haven't been around a baby in a while? I've got one whose diapers you can change with your opposable...). Here are simple activities that allow you to test your opposable thumb's usefulness-- for essay writing and more. The Continue Reading …
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Is your heart in your college essay?
College application season means advice and anxiety come at you from all corners. It's easy to lose heart. Are you able to spend time wondering (not worrying, but wondering) about the future, or are your days too crammed with test prep, school projects, responsibilities at home? Are you trying to crunch a bunch of facts and make them add up to your "dream school" or "reach school" or "safety school"? (Or you trying to visualize the next chapter of your life based on what attracts you, what challenges you, what pushes you, what makes you feel at ease?) Are you trying to declare that you already know what you want to study, so that you can go ahead and be convincing and study it? Hold on. You know that deflated feeling when your crush likes someone else? You know that deflated feeling when you are hungry and stuck on a subway? You know that deflated feeling when your parents want you to talk to a distant elderly relative about how school is going? That's the feeling that happens to us when we don't listen to our hearts. Luckily we can always reboot. Continue Reading …