Teens Vs. BS is Not New News! This week, the internet is (understandably) suddenly loving teen students, because of their rallying cry against BS. Some of us have always known this is true about teenagers. I have always loved working with teens because their BS detectors are so strong. The teen years are about learning survival: fit in or perish. To get through middle and high school, you have to know the real thing from BS. Sometimes you yourself have to BS painfully in order to get by, as you figure out who you are and who you want to be. This is also, by the way, what school should be for. NOT relentless tests which call for projectile regurgitation of arbitrary knowledge. And definitely NOT for hiding under desks. Teens have the clues for us I know this to be true because my students write about this all the time, unsparingly, if you give them a chance. Adults so often assume teens are clueless, shame on us. I think the opposite is true-- teens are picking up ALL the clues. It's unrelenting. So teens sometimes have to act clueless because getting hit with what life is really like, and the BS people settle for, is sometimes just too much. The classic adolescent struggle--fit in or perish-- is supposed to be psychological, not literal. This week, like many weeks in the recent history of this country, it was also literal. At Parkland, the teens who survived their classmate's gunfire, refused to accept the BS condolences that didn't signal real, immediate tangible change in gun laws, gun access, and school safety. They used their superpower to say-- we don't want your BS, we don't want your prayers, we want things to be different. And we will make you listen. And this was somehow staggering, because who knew teens could call out BS when they saw it? (Writing teachers). Aim for transformation of BS in your college essays If what the Parkland teens said and did isn't adolescent bull-headedness turned toward the light, what is? They were unafraid Continue Reading …
Integrity
Can’t I write about sports?
No, You can't write about (just) sports Here's why-- if you write about sports, the likelihood of your essay being cliched, or, worse, of you not realizing it's cliched-- is mighty strong. But also, Yes, you can. If you can make a surprising connection while writing about sports, you're golden. Admissions officers will remember you for (most of) the rest of their lives. Example of brilliant sports essay (Hint-- it's not about Sports!) Here's an incredible essay by Natalie Diaz, an amazing poet and thinker and former b-ball champ: She is not writing about basketball-- she is writing about basketball, and. Basketball and _______: violence against Native peoples how Brown bodies are subjugated growing up poor the visceral nature of writing as a body used to being in motion. escape cultural navigation Get it? Sports, And What? If you are hell-bent on writing about sports, I suggest making your list of and's. Consider: Why are you writing about this sport, really? What other story about your life is it helping you tell? Avoid these cliched approaches to sports essays I could recite the following essays in my sleep, because I've read them too many times. So have you. No surprises here. Please don't write these overdone, canned essays-- even if you really mean them. (And I really believe you mean them) "And then I heard my ligament pop and knew my life would never be the same." "I learned that life is like a game and you need to be a team-player!" "We turned in around in the last quarter, and that taught me I could overcome anything!" (Because, actually, that's a premature conclusion! MAYBE you can overcome anything; or maybe you just overcame this.) I believe in being a realist with teenagers. When you step beyond the cliches and the lessons you could have read somewhere else, you learn something more true, and more valuable, about your life and yourself. Get your game-writing on Here's Continue Reading …
A Mother and Daughter Reflect on the Challenges of the College Essay Writing Process
How Can I Help? The College Essay Predicament When Your Parent Is A Writer Some families know they’ll need outside help navigating the college essay, and seek it. Other families have help conveniently located at home-- which you might think is a perk, or wish was your situation. But it's not simple. Here’s one [longer form] revelation of what happens when mom-- writer Anne Anthony-- has the very skills her daughter--Samantha Hess-- needs when crafting her application essay, but their working dynamic becomes an emotional challenge. At the end, we invite you to share your (horror, triumph) stories of parent input. Sara: Thank you both for agreeing to reflect on the college essay experience. I thought it’d be interesting to hear from a mother and daughter who’ve gone through it and offer a perspective (and maybe advice or guidance) to those starting that journey. So, Anne, why don’t you give my readers some background. Anne: I’ve loved to write all my life and value a well-written sentence more than most mothers do. So, my daughter faced a harder critic in me than she would have with a different parent. I’d worked as a technical writer and analyst. Putting together words in the clearest and most effective way-- read, college essay gold!-- was something I did every day. I wonder how my daughter felt about my ‘help’ with her college essays. Too much? Too critical? Samantha: As the daughter of a writer, I always enjoyed reading and writing. English was my favorite subject in high school as it came naturally to me and I excelled at it. I took a lot of pride in my writing. Writing in general is also incredibly personal. Anne: She was good. Maybe that’s why I expected a lot from her. I wanted to make sure anything she submitted would be her best. Sometimes I felt like I pushed too hard, expected too much. Maybe the way we worked together didn’t help. She’d send me drafts by email. I’d mark up the draft with my edits which always appeared in red on the Continue Reading …
What can parents do?
Parents Influence As parents, it's hard to figure out the right balance of influence and distance when your kid is writing the college essay(s). And like everything else parenting related, the perfect balance differs. But it's important to establish healthy and helpful bottom lines in your role and relationship. This week, I read an(other) NYTimes article about how admissions officers (90% of them?) can tell if the essay is written in the student's voice and style, or that of some much older adult-- often the parent. It's not foolproof-- some kids have mastered adult-ese. Or they purposefully write in an even more sophisticated way in the essay (it's called trying too hard?) than is natural for them. An adultered style (no pun intended) is especially common if a lot is at stake (college acceptance, anyone?) and the students are trying to be impressive. (As I have said elsewhere, the best way to be impressive is to....be impressive. That doesn't happen in a one-off.) Their passion is the point There are all kinds of ethical issues with parents picking or heavily influencing the essay topic and its execution. But one of the biggest is: the raw passion isn't there. Spend 10 minutes with adolescents asking them about what they love, what moves or bothers them, what is really on their mind, and you are met with a slew of passionate speech. That same passion will not and cannot be there if their parents have fed them a topic about which they don't feel equally strong. Remember, your student might really really really want to please you, the parent, or at least not disappoint. BUT THE RESULTS WILL NOT HAVE THAT SPECIAL FEELING OF THE REAL KID. Yes, all writing is a produced self. But, no, not all writing is photoshopped to fit in well with the family portrait. Agendas are obstacles. You have one, I have one, students have one. Mostly-- you want your kid to be liked. To shine out as special, but not to take too big a risk that might cost Continue Reading …
Indelible Moment
King's "Letter" as Life-Changer I don't remember the moment when I first read Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Letter from Birmingham Jail," but I quickly became a groupie. I think it should be required reading before you can register to vote. Stick with me here-- your college essay connection comes later. The letter is particularly, though perhaps too cordially, critical of the white moderate. They/we, then as now, did not seize the historical moment. We who had the power to loudly and unequivocally announce opposition (with our very bodies) to ongoing hate crimes, despicable marginalization and economic exclusion suffered by blacks-- said nothing, or didn't say it forcefully enough. It was not the right moment. You have let my ass DOWN, he tells us. Your lukewarm support is worse than outright rejection. You can hear him talking-- everyone knows the sound of his voice. But are we lulled by it, or do we realize THIS IS OUR MOMENT TO BE OF USE? THIS is the moment to say something, this very one, flying by. Good writing stops you in your tracks. I teach the "Letter" this time every year to the 7th grade students at the TEAK Fellowship in my personal essay writing class. They munch Cheez-its while they parse his exquisite grammar and syntax, the nuances of his message. This is not an essay of the Dream. This is the essay of necessity. It is really about our current moment: the silence of good people is worse than anything. ... The best writing contains at least one moment that causes us to turn inward, and, if listened to, can change our lives. ... King's goodwill is admirable, his anger carefully packaged into bad-ass, stinging, argumentatively impeccable prose. If we look closely enough, we are indicted. We should not feel good reading the letter. We should have a moment when we shudder, and peel off a layer of denial. In the letter (I'll link it all over, in case you forget to click through) King explains the need for and Continue Reading …
A poem to inspire your best college essay
Stafford's Poem From time to time I find a poem that would be a perfect college essay, as is. Read it, and weep. William Stafford's "A Ritual to Read to Each Other," guts me word by word. I want to help my students make their college essays this pointed and distilled. So let's study this guy, a master of his form; he knows word economy. His poem unsettles. Good-- who wants to settle? That's for pre-Trump era folks. "If you don't know the kind of person I am and I don't know the kind of person you are a pattern that others made may prevail in the world and following the wrong god home we may miss our star." Read the rest here. Stafford's poem helps us figure out how to be with one another as people (because generally speaking, we're pretty piss at winning peace prizes, folks). He is a badass** writer, somehow direct but also circumspect: "Lest our mutual life get lost in the dark." How is that for Twitter-able accuracy? As a side note, I would also feel really cool if one of my students wrote something this devastating and accurate. (Which, by the way, they sometimes do, just that most of them aren't famous for it yet.) These lines have haunted me for years. They could not be more relevant. Be Woke As a buzzkill and injunction to BE WOKE, I'll post Stafford's last lines. But you're best served by reading the whole poem aloud, again and again. Better if you can read it to somebody. Maybe somebody who, like the rest of us, needs to WAKE UP ALREADY. "For it is important that awake people be awake, or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep; the signals we give — yes or no, or maybe — should be clear: the darkness around us is deep." Again, you can visit the whole poem here. Light up your essay I often misremember the poem's last lines as "the answers we give should be clear..." But you could easily substitute, "the college essays we write...should be clear!" --because the Continue Reading …