What do you want to be when you grow up? No-BS Brainstorming "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a cliche stock question of grown-ups everywhere, and a tacit question in many college essay prompts. My imagination still responds: whatever I want. The young physician’s assistant waved at my 4 year-old daughter with a fistful of tongue depressors. Black scrubs, thick black sneakers, and black mop of hair. “I usually just do the paperwork here,” he said. He lowered her bright pink mask. “And by the way these strep tests are only 30% accurate! And they are not fun. We had to do them with each other in our training.” She pointed to his name tag, “It’s a D!” she crowed, as if she’d discovered a new species. At her preschool, they romance one letter of the alphabet at a time. Each letter gets a day to be the center of everyone’s attention. To be noticed not just as part of something else, but as itself. “Wow,” he marveled, “She’s really good with her ABC’s.” This assistant, at best in his early 20’s, was already 98% grandpa. “At least with her D’s,” I agreed. “The ABC’s are my bread and butter.” He smiled in that I don’t know what you mean at all type of way. “Teach her another language, too, OK?” he suggested. “Not just English, OK? Everyone should learn at least two, OK?” “Languages are worlds,” I agreed. “It’s humbling to know more than one.” “Seriously,” he said. “I lost my Korean. I was fluent as a kid, but then I stopped speaking.” He paused. “Are you sure you don’t want the doctor to look at her throat first?” “No,” I said. “Am I ever sure?” He shook his head and swabbed my daughter, who was motionless until she gagged. “Wow she is very good,” he said, and stuck the test in its tube to marinate. It was inconclusively negative. “Keep being so happy,” he told her. Was she? Or had she just not yet unlearned being herself? Brainstorm for lost and future treasures: The next morning, I found this student piece: “To lose my Continue Reading …
Destiny
Your story matters more than ever
Does anything matter now? Yes! It's hard to think straight some days about what matters, when we've lost so much in the past year of the pandemic. We're at the 500,000 mark, in February; where is the sun, again? But in this context, your story matters more than ever. It can be hard to think well about future, about goals, when getting through the day sometimes takes all we have-- or as my friend and mentor Margaret Klawunn put it, while we're "fluctuating between boredom and terror." Colleges are trying to keep up with the new landscape, adjusting their admission requirements to accommodate student realities, the boring, the terrible and the indelibly altered. Your story, when you find it, is neither boring, or terrifying. It's perfect, and your job is to unearth it. Continue Reading …
COVID and College Admissions: Time to Get Genuine!
Last night, I felt heartened listening to the Applerouth college admissions panel on post/COVID college admissions landscape. It reaffirmed a hopeful facet of our current tragedy, which is acute here in New York City: that some things could change for the better-- namely, increased access to higher ed, a more genuine and equitable admissions process. And some really great essays. :) The warm panelists spoke about all aspects of admissions, but at Essay Intensive, we're always thinking about the written portions. And as a writing coach, I was thrilled to hear how excited the panelists were for the essays to come! They were encouraged by what gets stripped away, the pretense in applications, the excess of striving to be The Best and Most. But they are even more pumped about what gets expressed: students having no choice but to be their genuine selves telling colleges who they are--without the Circus of activities and commitments speaking for them. Smaller lives that mean a bigger deal. The panelists had some concrete advice for high school students of all ages at this time of stay-at-home orders, that aligns fully with what I’m always telling them. This is not about what or how to study, and it’s not about scores and metrics: Do something goofy!Enjoy whatever you can Work on your Time managementRead booksSpend time with your parents or family-- have those deep conversations, have the difficult conversations-- don’t put off meaningful conversations. Be guided by your passion to learn-- and learn something! This is forced self-reflective time like you might *never* have again in the same way! (And hopefully not for the same reason). And (honest) self-reflection is college admissions (essay) gold! What do you do when you suddenly have time? When left to your own devices? What’s inherently interesting to you? These are practically college essay prompts, living in your head and day to day decision making. The pay-to-play stuff is Continue Reading …
Let’s Not be Hypocrites about Learning Process vs Outcome
Decision Day marks the end point of the college application process, when high school seniors let colleges know where they are heading. It's not uncomplicated, though. This moment is the outcome and fruit of so much striving, and an event on which we've pinned a heck of a lot of hope. "Miss, I just want to hide in a corner," one student told me. And he was happy, proud, about where he was admitted. A flurry of articles are published around now about how to help seniors get anything out of the remainder of the school year. One NYT's article focused on where we lose sight of the learning process along the way and how to help seniors reinvest in themselves. Or maybe reinvent themselves, and how they think about themselves. Yes, We Could ALL Value Process More In theory, I totally agree. One of the major issues we face in education is that the learning process is not necessarily valued for itself, but only for where it might lead. That's capitalism right there, friends. But beyond that, from pre-K applications all the way to college applications, we're always telling our students to keep their eyes on the horizon- what's NEXT? Where -or what--will this get you? But how about: where am I right now? What's of value right now? What if there is more than the future that we're totally missing out on? Take, for example, my students. My middle school students at The TEAK Fellowship are some of the brightest in their public school classes. They have joined a fellowship that invests in them as future leaders, armed with the "best education money can buy." (And their financial aid packages subsidize the cost). But there is a(nother) cost: these students have, for themselves and their families, been trained to think far into the future. Everything they do is for something that comes later, hopefully. But what if you get hit by a bus? The value of "later" evaporates. Do we understand what "rewarding" really feels like? So why is it so Continue Reading …
Essay Intensive Is Having A Baby
The Facts, Baby! Essay Intensive will be Doing Maternity for much of the summer-- we 're having a(nother) baby! Sometimes we're metaphorical...but this is literal. We are literally having a baby, sometime around Independence Day (because we appreciate irony). What does the Baby have to do with me? What does this mean for you? It means that for July our response time may be slower. Or we may refer you out to our talented colleagues for urgent writing support needs. Please contact us to inquire if we have room to work with you. Thank you! Meanwhile, we cherish you. Have a beautiful summer, and go write like your life depends on it. We are grateful to have a life filled with children (3, 11, 13 and....newly made). They keep us creative and questioning. They remind us that the future is literally in their growing hands. It can be really hard to be a person, and so we try to raise our own just like we do our business-- with love, integrity, honesty and a good dose of humor. Now, who would we be if we didn't give you a writing prompt? Prompt Write everything you know about your birth story, and any questions you have. What blanks need to be filled in? Do you see threads connecting how you were born to the rest of your life, as it's unfolded? If tangents arise, follow them. Continue Reading …
Indelible Moment
King's "Letter" as Life-Changer I don't remember the moment when I first read Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Letter from Birmingham Jail," but I quickly became a groupie. I think it should be required reading before you can register to vote. Stick with me here-- your college essay connection comes later. The letter is particularly, though perhaps too cordially, critical of the white moderate. They/we, then as now, did not seize the historical moment. We who had the power to loudly and unequivocally announce opposition (with our very bodies) to ongoing hate crimes, despicable marginalization and economic exclusion suffered by blacks-- said nothing, or didn't say it forcefully enough. It was not the right moment. You have let my ass DOWN, he tells us. Your lukewarm support is worse than outright rejection. You can hear him talking-- everyone knows the sound of his voice. But are we lulled by it, or do we realize THIS IS OUR MOMENT TO BE OF USE? THIS is the moment to say something, this very one, flying by. Good writing stops you in your tracks. I teach the "Letter" this time every year to the 7th grade students at the TEAK Fellowship in my personal essay writing class. They munch Cheez-its while they parse his exquisite grammar and syntax, the nuances of his message. This is not an essay of the Dream. This is the essay of necessity. It is really about our current moment: the silence of good people is worse than anything. ... The best writing contains at least one moment that causes us to turn inward, and, if listened to, can change our lives. ... King's goodwill is admirable, his anger carefully packaged into bad-ass, stinging, argumentatively impeccable prose. If we look closely enough, we are indicted. We should not feel good reading the letter. We should have a moment when we shudder, and peel off a layer of denial. In the letter (I'll link it all over, in case you forget to click through) King explains the need for and Continue Reading …