Helping Teens Explore Identities Every week, I teach personal essay writing to middle schoolers at The TEAK Fellowship, and I think a lot about how identities are formed. This week, I wanted to find an essay by a trans author for them to read. This is an identity marker many students--and many adults--still feel confused about. Confusion is not unhealthy; ignorance is. One job of a writer, and a teacher, and maybe just a decent person, is to do the work to clear ignorance cobwebs from our eyes. It can be messy. We need to see them I spend a lot of time with teens, listening to them, thinking about them and what they need. Whenever possible, I laugh with them, allowing them to poke fun at adults, myself included, our hypocrisies and short-comings. There's lots of material there. I read great essays from them on the ways we've not stacked up, everything from leaving water running while we brush our teeth (though we ask them not to) to insulting their weight (when they weren't upset about it) to berating them for getting F's without asking about their days. Their criticism is for a purpose, not superfluous. They are in the process of deciding which adult identities are worth growing into. That said, I believe more than ever, our teens need to see their teachers (and, frankly, as many adults in their world as possible) stand up against erasure and misbegotten hatred of individuals and groups. Our teens need to know, if it was them at risk, that their identity, their selves, would be protected, too. Seen. Celebrated, especially. Art for all our identities That's what art, and in particular the art of the personal essay, is for (or one of the things, anyway). When we write, we look into identity closely, to understand how a person comes to be themselves, what has shaped them. To share that through style and craft. To open yourself up to others. To transmute pain. No matter who teens are in the process of becoming, each needs to know they belong--somewhere Continue Reading …
teens
Successful Parent Teen Communication about the College Essay
Happy Parent-Teen Communication about the College Essay? This could be you! Ever feel like parent-teen communication about the college essay (or, say, everything else?) can go haywire on a dime? I've had the pleasure of guest writing about this over at TeenLife magazine. You can check out my most recent article there on parent-teen communication about the college essay. How can you navigate conversations which can be so thorny? These tips help families ensure a smoother, clearer, respectful communication process about the essay. This works out better for everyone. And with the world a hot mess of poor word choice, what's better than harmony in the midst of anxiety? With our tips, our hope is that you got this! You can say what you mean, and refrain from saying what might make trouble. An excerpt from the post is below. Follow the link to read more. How To Avoid Making the College Essay a Battleground? "The notorious college essay can become a battleground of underlying stress and tension for parents and teens. They both care about the outcome, but (or because of this) communication about it easily goes haywire. Every parent-child relationship is different, and you have your own complex history that this post cannot address fully enough. Certain struggles, however, are common. From my years as a college-essay coach, I offer these suggestions for effective intra-family communication to help you navigate the college essay writing process productively, skillfully and with your relationship intact. Teens and parents have said these made all the difference!" ...Read the rest at TeenLife, here. Wait, I want more! Already know you want more guidance on the essay, or even just how to communicate about it? Let's schedule a consultation! Or send along your draft for our expert "how good is this draft?" junkies to review. We can't wait to help you make this process come alive, and to write something you're really really proud of. Continue Reading …