Pause the panic mode You know when you're getting really pissed off, anxious, or stressed, and someone says, "It's OK, just take a deep breath"? Sometimes, you want to smack the person. Even so, you suspect that advice is spot-on, and that your emotional hubbub (Too many application essays, anyone? Computer stalling, anyone? Fridge has no food again, anyone? Relatives grating at you, anyone?) could get quietly derailed. But in the moment, when you're stuck in shallow breathing (and maybe shallow thinking), "Take a deep breath" is annoying to hear, and for whatever reason hard to remember to do. Even though it's the easiest-- and actually most helpful-- thing of all (and free--did we say free?). Plus, maybe you don't know how. Really how. These trying moments of intensity can be greeted as opportunities for taking-- or learning to take, or finding value in taking-- a deep breath. I have to relearn this lesson all the time. So get your big breath on If you've never been shown otherwise, you might take a deep breath by puffing up your chest while tensing your jaw and shoulders, and leave it at that. No bueno. Instead, read on to learn what that well-meaning correct-but-pain-in-your-ass person could have instructed you to do-- a gift you can give yourself right now, and every day from now on, if you so choose. How can you get that restorative, revitalizing deep breath? You know, the one that makes all your problems (momentarily) go away? Well, it's not just your chest you want to move, even though that's the part of our bodies we most closely associate with breathing. In fact, it's more helpful if you think your lungs are in your belly. Your diaphragm will pull down the lower lobes of your lungs, and your blood, brain and spirit will be richer for it. Your parasympathetic nervous system, the function that allows you to relax, will give you a full-bodied thumbs-up. Here's the triumvirate of breathing exercises Try it according to my Continue Reading …
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Who Empowers Us to Speak Up?
Speak Up Like the Daddy Mack of Eloquence MLK Jr.'s writing gets me thinking about how to help my students speak up about what they know and see to be true in this world. The brutal stuff. The beautiful stuff that exists alongside the brutal stuff. King's the Daddy Mack of eloquence--whatever you think of him, it's hard to discredit that bit. His writing, and his speeches, speak up in ways that land sound bites on t-shirts, yes, but they also unmask how our institutions and attitudes systematically undermine and destroy our humanity. He puts the painful and critical ingredients of social justice into phrasing so musical, so clear, so rich with common references, that it's hard not to listen. That's a marker of great writing-- even if you didn't want to, something makes you listen. The reach of good writing is farther than you think To tune MLK Jr out is like tearing your eyes away from a TV where a major accident is being reported-- hard, near impossible. I want his cadences to get into my students-- of every color and creed-- by osmosis, repetition, sustained exposure. I want them to write better despite themselves. This blog focuses on how the practice of good, clear writing, by a writer who is aware of his or her values and character, can get you into (your dream) college, but the reach of good writing is and should be much bigger and bolder than just that. Punch above your weight It's true what they say: silence is not just the opposite of speech. The truth might move at light-speed when it's finally set free, but to speak up, we first have to slough off the weight of a thousand slumbering elephants in our shared room. They are in the classroom, too, those heavy taboos that stop humane progress. My dream, my prayer, my practice, is that every child in every school be empowered to punch way above his or her weight, to speak up with voices that cannot be ignored because the writing is too damn good, and to send the elephants back to Continue Reading …
For a flawless college essay, use your flaws
For a flawless college essay, use your flaws- wisely. (We're not actually sure anything is "flawless"-- but humor us.) "But don't I want colleges to think I have No Flaws?" you might object cautiously. No! It's a sign of maturity to know and name your flaws, and then treat them as opportunity for growth (crucial!). That, in short, is learning! And colleges want applicants committed to learning. So here's how to use what you've got for what you want to get. (Admitted. Admit it.). What should you do with your flaws to tell a good story and also showcase your strengths? Well first, notice your flaws. Honestly. Start by watching your mind for 1-5 minutes. Set a timer, close your eyes and observe "your" thoughts go by like rush-hour traffic. Examine their content objectively: errors in judgment about yourself or others; weak places in your character that could use reinforcement. Insecurities and doubts. Find the right story: Ask yourself what anecdotes or events from your life--don't overlook the small stuff!-- could inform your reader how you're working with and through these flaws. If you're timid, did you finally get up the nerve to ask your boss for a raise? If you're easily overwhelmed, did you regain balance through service, by sorting cans for a food bank? And now what? Another approach: look at the flawed world and make analogies Many of us have an easier time looking outside than inside ourselves. If that describes you, I suggest you start by using the above technique anyway (watch your mind). Then try commenting on the flaws in the world as a mirror to look inward for similar themes. Plus, this approach works your observation and "critical eye" muscles. And gives you material to be snarky about. Read this example from my life; then try your own. I start with the context: There is a sub-par Indian restaurant near my house; they do so much of their business take-out that they will basically pay you to eat the place. To Continue Reading …
Featured Student Writing in The Cornell Sun
His writing put the R in Rising To be fair, Jeremiah--a rising senior with emphasis on the word Rising-- didn't need a lot of help from me, his college essay writing coach at JPMorgan Chase The Fellowship Initiative (TFI) to write effective essays. Rather, confident prose seemed to rise up out of him. He was a writer, a deep and global thinker, and the kind of kid who, if it was the only quiet spot, did his homework in the bathroom. He put the self in self-motivated. And because of his circumstances at home, he did a lot of writing in the bathroom. Which might already tell you enough. Unlike many of my students, who face self-doubt, procrastination, or writer's block, he did not need that much prompting to produce his college essay -- he had a story in mind and banged out his personal statement with determination. And fancy subordinate clauses. He is the kind of kid who you can be sure will reach his goals-- ruthlessly, if he has to. And by the time he gets there, he'll have new, bigger goals that supplanted the earlier visions. His writing never shies away from these dreams. He comes from a tight family where education is central. where philosophy is part of parenting and excellence is expected, no matter what. As featured in The Cornell Sun So by qualification and persistence, he made it to Cornell University, but what happened there is the real juice I can't disclose here. I am featuring his writing, a recent article in the Cornell Sun. His article shows that strong writing and game-changing thinking go hand in hand. Such probing as you'll find in his text are what words are for, and the opportunities they create in the hands of young people. Words can lift the dust of complacency, and open the avenues of the mind and heart that can, and should, lead to critical reflection and compassionate action. Thanks for the opportunity to feature your writing, Jeremiah. He can be reached for causes big and small or to answer Continue Reading …
Gratitude Glasses
Why put a limit on gratitude? One day each year we're told by the calendar to feel grateful. But this shortchanges what gratitude can do for you, if you practice it beyond the national holiday. In short, gratitude gives everything in your life an upgrade. It makes you a bad-ass in the face of set-backs; It makes you not an ass in the face of great good fortune. And you can make it part of your daily routine, if you're hoping to live a rich existence. And of course we're going to say it has benefits for your college essay (it really does) and your appeal to admissions officers (positivity is attractive). But that is just the beginning of how this feeling and virtue can alter your perspective and prospects for the better. Gratitude's brag sheet Gratitude opens you to what is, rather than what isn't. Gratitude allows you to appreciate, rather than depreciate, your life as it is. Gratitude is anti-consumerism-- it doesn't need more, it always has enough. Gratitude is knowing even the chance to apply to college, the know-how to get through even the simplest application, spells opportunity and privilege. Compare this with the education models available elsewhere in the world and you'll resent the effort a little less. Gratitude is simple-- you can exercise is towards anything. You can be grateful you can read these words, breathe, drink water, pee...no, really, the list never runs out. It's actually inexhaustible. Gratitude gives you a second chance when there is a shit-storm. When things don't go "your way." When you-- if you-- get rejected. When you-- if you---get accepted. Gratitude gains you positivity The chain works like this: Gratitude induces positive feelings where more are needed or where there aren't any. Positive feelings set your nervous system at ease. Positive feelings lower baseline stress. A nervous system at ease is solution-oriented. A nervous system at ease believes things can or will be OK. There is science to Continue Reading …
Why You? Why Me! Tackling Supplemental Essays
Admit it: you, me, and possibly everyone else thinks the college application supplemental essays sometimes suck, and so you may be leaving them to tackle last, after your core essay is polished and powerful. Then (now!) you face a daunting sucky pile. But as is true for the rest of the application process, supplemental essays don't have to make you gag, stall, and then use hyperbole to compensate. It's up to you to make them work, and worth your time to do so, since many students have upward of twenty to write. Here are our tips on writing these essays successfully. First, why do they suck (and merit such a low-brow verb)? Because the supplemental essays violate an important maxim: Ask a good question, get a good answer. Unfortunately, the supplemental essay questions are often dry, and so get your dry responses. And the human urge to spout grand life plans and BS a bit. Students often get trapped responding to the "Why Our School?" essay, which can require anywhere from a painful 150 to a brutal 500 words, with one of the following unsuccessful moves: Copy-pasting text from the school's website (I think they may have read that already). Sharing your grand Life Plans (think ALL CAPS). Spewing a healthy load of BS praise ("This school has a STUPENDOUS anthropology program!!!!"). The issue with each of these approaches is: You told them what they already know. (But they are really glad you took the time to Ctrl-X, Ctrl-V). Your long-term ambitions and Big Dreams are not as relevant or important here as your immediate ambitions and actions. BS cannot sound like anything but BS. Admissions officers are hired for their BS detectors. Also, Schools are not like dogs-- they are not hoping for your praise. You are hoping for theirs. Luckily, we can call on a powerful, effective and simple recipe to get us through-- since we are stuck with these supplemental essay questions for now (Hallelujah to U Chicago, and the other schools Continue Reading …